Questions that remain about the absurdity of words.


Have you ever wondered at some of the absurdities our wonderful language brings?


I won’t go into the possibilities of these for teaching children about grammar and words or even numeracy at this point – just enjoy with me some of the questions that I’ve never been able to answer properly.



What do you think?


  1. Where would we be if there were no hypothetical questions?
  2. If bread is usually square why is cold meat for sandwiches usually round?
  3. Is there another word for a synonym?
  4. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  5. Why is it called lipstick when you can still move your lips?
  6. How can you tell if you’ve run out of invisible ink?
  7. If you try to fail but actually succeed – which have you done?
  8. Why do shops offer ‘Free Gift’ – aren’t all gifts free?
  9. If people want to have their two ‘penneth but only want to give you a penny for your thoughts – who gets the extra penny?
  10. Why do we call it ‘Rush Hour’ when not much traffic is moving?
  11. Why do people say they slept like a baby when most of them wake up every 2 hours?
  12. What happens if you get ‘scared half to death’ twice?
  13. How come ‘fat chance’ and slim chance’ mean just about the same thing?
  14. Why is the word ‘abbreviation’ so long?
  15. Why do noses run but feet smell?



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